You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
