She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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