the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
