I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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