I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
