Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
kristin has been a bad kristin
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
