Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
