Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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