Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize