this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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