How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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