Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
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i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
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