you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
