My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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