i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
