she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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