i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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