I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
