I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
The best revenge is premature balding
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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