this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
