Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
