I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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