Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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