Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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