I wish you could order shots online.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
