I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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