he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
