i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
