dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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