i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize