Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize