She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
