i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
