when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
