I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
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I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
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Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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