College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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