it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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