youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
