i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
