i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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