This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
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