Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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