ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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