Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
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I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
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the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
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