i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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