I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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