Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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