So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
