genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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