I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
