its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
