Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He did a backflip because drugs
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