Im at strip club and am horny
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So many bounce houses so little time
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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