I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
