All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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