I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
