at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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