Plan B is the new Plan A
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
