I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
