i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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