She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
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No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
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I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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