I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
