windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
