I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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