Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize