I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
