Having a random hookup so left but love u
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
