i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
