I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
