I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize